Mental health support 'not good enough' - says Derbyshire woman after miscarriage

After a positive pregnancy test in October, Poppy Walker from Ripley felt excited about becoming a mum. But as she did more tests she realised that the line was not getting any darker – suggesting pregnancy hormones weren't increasing.

Concerned, she contacted her GP who said this could indicate a chemical pregnancy - an early miscarriage during the first five weeks.

Poppy was advised to keep doing the tests and it was soon negative. But she could not be more surprised when a week later another test was positive.

She contacted her GP again and was referred for a scan and blood tests at the gynaecological unit at Derby Hospital. Doctors said it looked like a very early pregnancy.

Poppy said: “It didn’t make sense with how far along I should be. They said the only way this was possible was if I released two eggs in one cycle, a couple of weeks apart, which isn't supposed to happen. When one of them was miscarrying, the other one was implanting. I thought it was a little miracle and it was meant to be.”

Poppy attended regular blood test appointments so the doctors could monitor if the hormones were rising.

She said: “The hormones weren't quite doubling as they should but it was just under what was expected. At another scan, I was told there was growth. I was very hopeful.”

But a scan two weeks later showed that there was no heartbeat.

Poppy said: “It was a very difficult and confusing time. I was very hopeful. I was sure that the second pregnancy was going to make it. I wanted to believe that it was meant to be. Hearing that there was no heartbeat was really difficult to accept.”

After hearing the bad news, Poppy and her husband were offered some time in a private room before a nurse came and explained miscarriage treatment options that were available. They included allowing Poppy to wait for natural miscarriage and bleeding, offering medication to start the bleeding or to have surgical management.

Poppy decided that the surgery would be the most suitable. She needed to wait another week to make sure there was no further growth and she was booked in for a hospital appointment.

Poppy said: “Nurses were very sympathetic and comforting. They helped me to stay calm. The surgery was under general anaesthetic and afterwards, I spent some time in a recovery ward.”

Poppy was allowed to go home the same evening - but that was not the end of her troubles and worries.

She said: “You're not only grieving the baby, you're grieving everything that comes with it. I was looking forward to being pregnant and telling my friends and family, I was looking forward to having a baby in the summer, buying the clothes, and decorating the nursery. I was really looking forward to being a mum.”

While Poppy’s managers at work have been very understanding and she was offered time off to process her loss, she faced unkind comments from people who heard about her miscarriage.

She said: “I was very lucky with support from work. But there is still a lot of stigma around miscarriages in society. It makes people uncomfortable to talk about it.

“Some people said to me things like ‘it’s just a late period, it wasn't really a pregnancy.’ It shows that women's health issues aren't taken as seriously as they should be by society.

“People kept telling me that I should look for silver linings - ‘you can still get pregnant, at least it was early’. I would like to tell other people who go through a miscarriage - you don’t have to look for silver linings. It's okay to be really sad and take time to process.

“I think it's very easy for people who haven't been through it, to say that it's not a big deal. But emotionally and physically, it can have a massive effect on someone's health.”

What made it even more difficult for Poppy was struggling with her ADHD medication. When she became pregnant, she was taken of her medication. As a standard procedure, to get her medication prescribed again, Poppy needs a review appointment with a psychiatrist and she has been put on a long waiting list.

She said: “It’s been almost half a year since the miscarriage. Every day that I'm not on medication, it reminds me that it’s because I used to be pregnant, but I'm not anymore.”

To help her navigate through the grieving process, Poppy reached out to Petals - a charity providing a specialist counselling service for parents affected by miscarriage, poor pregnancy diagnosis, stillbirth and neonatal loss.

Poppy said: “I had to reach out to them and fill out the online applications. It was difficult at the time. I've not had contact from my GP or the hospital. I reached out to some other people on a Facebook group and asked them if they'd had any since they had surgery for a miscarriage. All of them said they've never been contacted again.

“It’s quite upsetting. Miscarriage is traumatic physically and emotionally difficult to process. To not have any medical professional call and check how things are is not good enough.”

She added: “I got some leaflets about charities after my surgery. But it was connected to the information about the surgical management of miscarriage. When I got home, I just wanted to put it in the bin and not think about it. It was too difficult.

“It would be helpful if a charity or nurse rang me just to check-in after two weeks. It was difficult to fill out the online paperwork in the first place and not everyone can find the strength do that after a miscarriage.”